Wayne Felsenfeld

Underwear Soup Wayne Felsenfeld

"Stupid" Seymour Klotz was a disenfranchised young individual. After all, in science lab, he mistakenly invented a substance that glued a visiting foreign dignitary's hand to his ass. And he was persuaded to rent a suit, for an hour, to a funeral parlor that needed the garment for a naked stiff. It was evident that the "gene pool" was sufficiently the culprit. Claude, his father, who was a shop steward in a nose hair clipper factory, was riddled with dysfunctional roadblocks. For example, Claude tried to return a toy male doll that had embarassing large genitalia. Also, he paid for expensive root canal for his boss' howling dog and was charged $100 for a TV service call, where the technician needed only to plug the set into the wall outlet. Through some strange law of physics, things changed suddenly. Parlaying monies earned from selling his dirty underwear, having a unique flavor, to an enterprising caterer, turning it into underwear soup, Seymour gained great wealth. He reversed the constant advice from his parking attendant associate, Bump, who had the uncanny knack of always being wrong. His mind was eventually analyzed at the University of Pennsylvania to study how a person could alway be in error.