Salima Hakeem

Black Butterflies Salima Hakeem

Black men arethe most misunderstood beings on the face of the earth.¿ They are the butt of jokes, they aremisquoted, lied on and about, not trusted and to some the reason for all of thetrouble in the world!¿ But those of usthat love, like, want, need, and desire black men have to realize that thereare still a lot of good, single brothers out there. We just have to give them achance and understand them. We also have to remember, when we are looking forthat "perfect" man that we are not perfect and perfection is reserved for Godonly! I have to admitthat for a short period, I was one of those women that misunderstood my dearbrothers because of what I had experienced in my life. My husband, aman that I loved dearly, just abruptly walked out on me. He also had all of myutilities turned off! Our daughter was just over a month old. I was devastated!He was a good man and I knew that he loved me. So why did a good man just walkout on his family? Now I realize that he was just saving himself. Sure, hecould have gone about it in a more humane way but at the time, he was soconfused! I did not understand it then like I do now. He was scared. A scaredlittle boy that I tried to turn into a man! I loved him dearly but I did nottruly understand him! He was always telling me that I was too good for him butat the time I could not understand what he was talking about. Now I realizethat he had very little self- esteem.¿¿¿I had a goodBlack man; I just didn't know how to deal with him!¿ Many times, he tried to talk to me but I didn't want to hear whathe had to say. I was just consumed in my needs and myself that I didn't evenunderstand nor did I try to, what he was going through!However, Ifinally learned how to listen and by just really listening, I learned so muchabout my dear Brothers. I believe partof the problem is when a woman meets a man she really likes, she jumps into bedwith him too fast. Before she even gets to know him. If the sex is good, she ishooked. She wants a relationship.