Ryan Kirtz

Black Plastic Ryan Kirtz

Publisher Marketing: The clock is ticking. In forty-eight hours time, all of humanity will join an alien race known as the Danklowd as they are assimilated into their Galactic Fellowship. This is good news for everybody except four 19 year-old nerds, Corbin, Ryan, Bill and Shane, who have overheard a rogue sect of the Danklowd planning to overthrow their leaders and enslave humanity instead. Desperate to show the aliens something that will make them leave humanity behind, the boys embark on a perilous quest to collect the Seven Forbidden Films, VHS copies of the seven worst movies ever made that were scattered across the world to the few remaining Hollywood Video stores in existence. But are these just simple movies, or do they contain a more destructive power? Along the way, they meet an eclectic cast of characters ranging from Stephon, an enigmatic Hollywood Video employee that helps the boys in their quest, to General Steve, a Nazi commander in the German army who may or may not be an anthropomorphic walrus. Trying to stop the boys at every turn are Project F***, a team of government agents consisting of Sigourney Weaver, James Cameron, and five other actors spanning the entire Alien franchise. With the odds stacked against them and life as they know it on the line, these joke-cracking, cannabis-smoking, movie-referencing losers have just two days to save the world. Also, there's time travel. And a crab. CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT