Emma Beasley

Diary of a Bad Housewife Emma Beasley

When I married my husband, I promised to, "Wash and to fold from this day forward," but forever is a long time to exhaust oneself on the hamster wheel of tedium. Especially when no one really appreciates my efforts. I make the bed every morning and Chester says nothing. I don't make it for five or six weeks in a row and he's calling me a bad housewife! Motherhood isn't easy either. When my kids were little they hated naps. Sometimes they refused to let me take one no matter how tired I was! But they do grow up quickly. My oldest son is now an MD: Manic Depressive. The youngest boy is still at home. He's pale, non-communicative and nocturnal. I'm convinced he's a vampire, but Chester thinks we should wait for the test results before we drape our headboard with garlic. As I deal with an empty nest, I'm experiencing the horrors of menopause and a marriage that's become lackluster. It's not as if I haven't tried to spice things up. "Chester," I said recently. "I'd like us to try something new in the bedroom." The very next day he painted the walls yellow and put the television where the dresser used to be. At least there was a lot of heavy breathing.