Christamar Varicella

There Are Sneetches In My Breeches Christamar Varicella

There Are Sneetches In My Breeches combines silly humor and cutting satire to parody books and authors. Think of the Onion or Weird Al Yankovic, but instead of spoofing the news or popular music, this book takes on the world of literature and mainstream fiction. Under the guise of three quirky readers--Al Butterman, Sally Putterman, and Purvis McGrew--the real author, Christamar Varicella, sends amusing fan letters to popular authors and issues reviews of books that may not exist, but it sure would be funny if they did. Sally Putterman, for example, writes an open letter to Twilight author Stephanie Meyer in which she expresses her longing to meet a 104-year-old vampire high school student named Jedward, while Purvis McGrew checks in with Tom Wolfe on the death of literary fiction and to talk about the time Wolfe, John Irving, and John Updike settled their feud "Greco-Roman style" on a wrestling mat in Irving's basement. Meanwhile Al Butterman writes an angry review of The Supreme Bean, a book purportedly written to rank beans in order of goodness, and which includes such infuriating passages as the ones quoted below: "#291 The Chili Bean The Chili Bean is a really good bean. The Chili Bean originally comes from some country in South America, like maybe Mexico. It tastes okay and is particularly good in certain kinds of soup. Example: Celery Soup. #290 The Garbanzo Bean I like the Garbanzo Bean because it reminds me of that purple muppet, Garbanzo the Great. He's so funny. I would have rated it higher but I never understood Garbanzo's fascination with chickens. To each his own, I suppose. #289 The Black Bean The Black Bean is a great bean. No doubt about it. Some of the best beans I've ever tasted were black. Notice I ranked this bean higher than the White Bean (#675). This has nothing to do with race. Objectively speaking, the Black Bean is better. #288 The Navy Bean One of the most patriotic actions a bean can take is joining the Navy." Sprinkled between dozens of short humor pieces are two full novellas: "The Oiliest Secret" turns the romance genre on its head, while the horror parody "Dinosaur Ghost" answers the question, "What would happen if dinosaurs came back from extinction and started eating republicans?" Sneetches takes on writers as diverse as JK Rowling, Ayn Rand, and David Foster Wallace and parodies every genre from Science Fiction/Fantasy ("The Grobisher"), Erotica ("50 Shades of Sex") to poetry ("An Ode to my Underwear.") This may very well be the most sophisticated book you'll ever read in your bathroom.