Timothy Ballan

A History of Text Messages Sent to a Baby Clam (Without One Response) Timothy Ballan

Hello! My name is Hickory Fee and this is my second hobo in a series of doors. Come inside! Have a shlump! This book is a compilation of text messages that I've sent to a baby clam over time. Unfortunately, in the fashion of my baby bear lover, she has never responded. I can only hope that the publishing of this book will get her attention and convince her to love my ear. I love her even more than I do my baby bear. Please enjoy reading this absurd book, and keep it out on a coffee table or anywhere else where it will fit--along with its sidekick, A History of Text Messages Sent to a Baby Bear (Without One Response), A Story for Crazy Children. It is the perfect conversation starter--or finisher. (However, just as with its previous installment, this book is appropriate for neither crazy nor sane children.) My greatest hope, though, is that this book will help others converse more successfully than I have ever been able to. I can't even get a response from my only real friend, the titular baby clam.: '(