Felicitatus Miserius

Terrible Tales: The Absolutely, Positively, 100 Percent True Stories of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Those Three Greedy Pigs, H Felicitatus Miserius

One day, not long ago, Sir Jasper Gowlings was happily minding his own business when he was startled by a powerful gust of wind that blew his front door clean off its hinges. Standing on his doorstep was a bizarre, wizened old hag wrapped in a moldy, moth-eaten cloak that smelled strangely of wet dog and split pea soup. Seconds later, Sir Jasper found himself in possession of an ancient, rotting book of magical and portentous tales and a terrifying letter that ordered him to share the contents of the book with the world-or else. Sir Jasper slowly turned the crumbling pages and began reading the tales of Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, and the Three Little Pigs. These were not the old, lying, deceitful tales that once tricked him into believing that only attractive, royal-like people, talking pigs, or poor wee tikes with evil stepmothers could ever find love, joy, and delicious things to eat. Oh no! These tales told the absolute truth, 100 percent, and all of them ended in a manner that curdled Sir Jasper's blood and made his hair stand on end in horror. Be warned. Anyone who chooses to ignore the teachings inside Terrible Tales may find themselves in dreadful danger. Just take it from Sir Jasper who, after turning the last page of the frightful manuscript, knew he must heed its lessons-or pay the price. Fans of dark comedy in the style of Roald Dahl and Lemony Snicket will delight in these wicked alter egos". -ForeWord Clarion Review "Kids and parents alike will chortle at Miserius's lively, pungent prose. A twisted, entertaining take on the kids' canon". -Kirkus Review"