Phillip Neil Ellis

Golf n' Grits Phillip Neil Ellis

It was a beautiful day for golf. Me and cuzin Orville were cruising toward the finish line of a star-studded Celebrity Charity golf tournament. We were surrounded by politicians, movie stars, football players with even a few snake charmers thrown in to the mix. Orville was intent on winning first prize, a 100" big screen television that came with a three thousand dollar sound system to sweeten the mix. He had even picked out the exact wall to hang it from in his new double-wide. Now some men might get nervous, even develop the yips, competing against all them rich and famous players, but not us because we knew the secret of winning. That all you needed was the fastest golf cart and the biggest eraser! So we did what we always do, reached into the cooler and grabbed a couple of ice cold Ol Mildew Lights and put the pedal to the metal.