Amaka Chukwuemeka

The God Who Sees Me Amaka Chukwuemeka

Tears were gushing down my cheeks as i stepped out of the doctor's office. In desperation, I searched for my phone. I knew i had to call someone immediately. But I was not sure who to call at that moment. I had just a few friends I could trust with such a sensitive issue. Did i say sensitive? Yes. I wished that was all there was to it. I probably could handle the sensitivity aspect very well. But hey, the news wasn't just sensitive - it was devastating. I have had to deal with a few devastating issues in my life, but nothing was as overwhelming as this negative report from the doctor's office. Nothing had ever taken my breath so high and refused to bring it down. Taking a deep breath suddenly became a luxury I couldn't afford at that point."Did i hear chemotherapy?" I whispered to myself as confusion began to set in. "I know of chemotherapy; i have heard of it. I probably read about it in the most casual way, not giving it much attention. After all, this kind of treatment applies to cancer patients" - or so i thought. Never could i have believed that one, i would be sitting in front of a doctor or anybody for that matter, discussing or even considering taking the chemo treatment. I could still faintly hear her voice. "It is a crippling disease. It is an incurable disease. It will spread across your body fast. You have to cancel your trip to Africa and start treatment immediately!" I was due to travel in a few weeks. She said, "We need to get you a walker or cane to support to support your mobility. This treatment can also lead to cancer, strokes, permanent paralysis or disability. We need to act fast..." She went on and on until I was frozen with fear. My God! I had to stop her. She was driving me nuts. This may sound a little weird or disrespectful but at that point, it didn't matter anymore. I mustered as much strength as i could, looked her in the eye with the "Read my lips" .....