John Salonia

Life Sucks, Death Swallows John Salonia

Al Tickell was having a bad day. For one thing, he was dead. For another, he was in a hell far more terrible than he'd ever dared imagine. Worst of all, he faced an excessively nasty demon who demanded his life story in detail - or else! But Al was hesitant to confess such insane and twisted doings, even to a minion of hell. For one thing, his girlfriend Dixie Jo believed that the spirits of the dead inhabited her brain - and she was just biding her time until Count Dracula turned her into a creature of the night like him. For another, Al was trying to juggle simultaneous affairs with two gorgeous women at his job without their finding out about each other. Worse, one of them wanted to kill him - and the other was hell-bent on making him kill himself. And if that wasn't enough trouble, there were the two shadowy stalkers intent on breaking every bone in Al's body. Not to mention his ex-wife's girlfriend, who wanted to do unspeakable things to him with her knife to avenge a crime Al never committed - and the husband of one of his mistresses, who intended to do even worse to Al with his machete. Poor Al. If you think his life was hell, wait till you see his afterlife. There's the devil to pay... "Gleefully butchers sacred mad cows, from radical feminism to Marvel Comics and PC mania." -- Locus on Fantasy CONTAINS LOW, COARSE, SCABROUS SEXUAL HUMOR AND EXPLICIT SEXUALITY. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN. ALSO CONTAINS EXPLICIT THOUGHT, EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND EXPLICIT REALITY. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR FRAGILE PC SNOWFLAKES WHO NEED SAFE SPACES, COLORING BOOKS AND THERAPY PUPPIES.